Here’s What it’s Like to be Roofied
I never thought it would happen to me.
We have all heard the stories. Guys slip something into girl’s drinks at nightclubs and parties. Perhaps, the girl slips something into a guy’s drink. No matter what way it happens, date rape drugs are used commonly in today’s modern age. Yet, we still never believe it’s going to happen to us…especially in broad daylight in public.
A few months ago, I was drugged and ended up in the hospital. It was the most terrifying experience of my life and could have ended far worse. I didn’t even realize I was drugged until it fully wore off the day after. It was then that I realized how much I wish I heard about someone else’s experiences beforehand so I could have recognized the symptoms sooner.
This is that story. I hope you never experience anything close to what I did, but if you begin to question, hopefully, this will help.
It all began with a week where I wasn’t exercising as much as usual, so I decided to go figure skating on the other side of town. It was a hot sunny day in Los Angeles as I made my way into the hotter valley to go to my favorite ice rink. There were only a few young competitive skaters and their coaches that day, so I left my skates on the sidelines and my jacket, small purse, and tall water tumbler on one of the booth benches. About an hour into the open skate, I went to the bench and drank some of my water, getting right back on the ice. It didn’t take long to begin losing focus. Something didn’t seem right, so I sat back down on the bench and slowly sipped more water. I even called my mom and figured with her that I should have eaten more that day and probably had low blood sugar.
Back on the ice, my vision got worse. I couldn’t fully focus on anything. It was like laying down with glasses on…in focus, but not quite focused. In my skates, I got off the ice and immediately walked up to the front desk, asking about if these symptoms were normal for dehydration or extreme temperature changes. I looked for any sort of explanation. They had no idea, but gave me a free pass back to the rink on another day.
There was no way I could handle being back on the ice, so I took off my skates and put back on my Converse to leave. It was the most difficult thing to do and I remember feeling so deeply bone-cold that it was hard to process anything past the need to be warm-up. After refilling my water on the way out, I got into my car, rolled down the window, and sat in the driver’s seat.
At this point, I was fully alone on the far other side of town, fully bundled, and freezing in eighty-degree weather. Still thinking about dehydration and low blood sugar, I sipped more water and slowly snacked on a small bag of Belvita biscuits. This was a moment I wish I had more snacks in the car. Warming up seemed impossible and I still couldn’t focus. It was too dangerous to drive, so I called my mom back. A headache began to form very intensely on my forehead, but as it happened, my memory began to slip. All I wanted was to lie down and sleep it off, but there was an older, creepy-looking guy looking into my car. I told my mom about him but brushed it off to avoid becoming paranoid.
My headache got worse. I stayed cold. The snack and water wasn’t helping. Nausea and stomach pains began. My mom asked simple questions about what I had to eat for dinner the night before and where I felt pain. I couldn’t remember the answers. She asked about if my forehead hurt, which I couldn’t even figure out what a forehead was. All I knew was that I should have known. Something was wrong and only getting worse.
Still thinking this problem was food-related, I decided to leave the car and walk to the restaurant next door to the rink. It was a Mexican restaurant and no amount of Spanish classes I took in high school could help me define the menu. Not only couldn’t I focus, but even the layout of the place didn’t make any sense to me. I couldn’t even think of what to order, so I just asked for a cup of water. The waitress seemed to be looking at me like I was crazy. I felt crazy.
I drank through the small cup of water and kept my mom on the phone. She recommended that I call 911. I had never needed to go to a hospital on my account, let alone in LA. As bad as everything seemed, the concept of a hospital was even scarier. I worried about how much it would cost, considering the weeks leading up to that involved costly problems. She was right though, so I called and somehow managed to communicate enough for the ambulance to know where I was.
After two trips into the bathroom with stomach pains and a moment where I walked into a wall, the ambulance arrived. It all felt like a nightmare. I remember thinking, “I just want my life back”, because it seemed like my reality was flipped upside down. I had no idea what was going on and it seemed like everybody thought I was crazy. I felt alone, on the opposite side of the country from my family and the opposite side of the city from my friends. Paranoia set in. I was convinced that I was dying.
The medics arrived and asked if I was the one who called. Once I replied, I barely gave a second thought to if they were medics or not. They began running tests, pricking my fingers and hooking me up to unrecognizable machinery. The next thing I knew, they were getting me into the ambulance. I barely remember seeing the actual outside of it. The short drive there, I froze and talked with the medic in the back. I worried about leaving my car behind. I asked my mom to call in for me about work the following day. I somehow managed to get the other medic to text one of my roommates the hospital address. I repeated everything to everyone multiple times from this point forward, terrified that I could pass out and nobody would know why.
At the hospital, they took a few more tests and gave me a thin white sheet to warm up. I waited in the waiting room for a bit and began to get back to normal. Still wanting to talk it out, I chatted about what had happened to a nice lady and her son who were sitting across from me. Headache at its peak of pain, I asked the nurse at the front desk if there was anything salty I could snack on and some water. A different nurse brought a pudding and cheese, which I had to decline due to the annoying factor of lactose intolerance. Eventually, they brought me to my room, where more tests were taken and I waited for even more to be done.
It was about then that one of my roommates showed up with one of my blankets, a breakfast bar, and a favorite pillow. I explained what happened and how I was feeling, and then the next couple of doctors that came in. I then got shuffled to take more tests. At no point, did I think to mention I could have been drugged, so, despite all the tests, that was never tested.
Hours later, after a long time of waiting around and getting incredibly hungry and tired, I got some results. They found out I was severely iron deficient and anemic and needed to get a doctor in LA to find out more. They thought I already knew about it too. That explained nothing, but I took the information and headed to In-N-Out before driving my car back home, feeling much better.
The next day, I woke up with the worst headache and the inability to do anything. I sat on the couch and read through countless articles about my symptoms to piece anything together. It all linked back to being roofied. Anybody could have slipped something into my water when I wasn’t looking. The guy who was staring at me when I was in my car, wanting to pass out, could have been a threat. After asking for more clarity on what had truly happened with my family and roommate, it seemed to make sense that I had been drugged. I acted like I was on drugs. It was miserable and the worst part was coping with the what if’s.
I was lucky and I am so thankful for that. Still, the trauma from that lingered on. Even months later, I’m still coping with depersonalization. There are moments I feel like nothing is real at all. I have had nightmares with the feeling of being stuck in a nightmare and having everything you think you know disappear. It’s like having the world taken out from under you. It certainly didn’t help that the outbreak of the coronavirus did a very similar thing to the world around the same time.
I was angry that unless I thought to mention about potentially being drugged, nobody was going to test for it. I was angry that people go out of their way to drug others. I was angry that despite living a very cautious life, I still couldn’t fully protect myself. I was angry that had anything had happened to me, the effects of that on my family and friends would have been so devastating. I didn’t know any better and now, whoever did that to me could still be out there trying to drug somebody else.
I’ve learned a lot from this, but the main thing I learned was how important it was to be careful, stay connected with others even if you are physically alone, and share about it. Had I heard about these symptoms before, maybe I could have recognized what was going on sooner.
That’s why I wrote this article. Just by hearing my story, you may be able to recognize a dangerous situation and save yourself in the future. Stay aware. Stay safe.
