One Year Since the Trauma…
A year ago today, my life changed forever…
It was on Friday, February 28th, 2020 that my entire life as I knew it, unexpectedly changed.
I went ice skating on my own on the far side of town, as I enjoyed doing ever so often. Leaving my jacket, small purse, and tumbler filled with water on the side bench, I didn’t think much of it. I kept an eye on my stuff for the most part anyway and there were very few people at the rink. It was a school day and the only others there were young competitive skaters, their coaches, some parents, and maybe a couple of other open skaters, like myself.
About an hour in, I decided to stay hydrated and drank some of my water. Not too long after, my vision doubled and I starting experiences symptoms I hadn’t even heard of before.
The workers at the front desk gave me a free pass to come back, but also had no idea what I was experiencing. I never left a rink early in my life, but couldn’t understand for the life of me why I felt so miserable.
Thinking it was just dehydration from the contrasting cold rink and hot Valley air, with maybe a need for some food (despite eating my normal, full breakfast only an hour or two before), I cracked a window in my car, leaned the driver’s chair back a bit, and called home to talk it through.
A guy stared into my car, right at me. I avoided the paranoia and didn’t think much of it, at that time.
Symptoms got worse. A throbbing headache. Water and biscuits didn’t help. Blurry vision. Extreme fatigue. Fear. Paranoia. I even forgot what a forehead was when I was trying to describe over the phone where my headache hurt.
Stumbling into the restaurant next to the rink after realizing there was no hope in being able to safely drive anywhere, the nightmare truly began. I couldn’t order anything, let alone, make sense of the menu. My stomach hurt beyond any pain it had felt before. Nothing made sense. I was living a nightmare that wasn’t ending.
Somehow, I managed to call 911, call in about missing work the next day, and inform my roommates a bit of what was going on, with the help of my family. When the paramedics showed up, I barely needed a badge to go along with whatever they said. Nothing made sense.
One hospital trip and many hours later, I slowly got better. All tests came back looking fine and nobody was able to tell me what was wrong, with the exception of an unexpectedly low level of iron-deficient anemia.
It wasn’t until the following day that I researched my symptoms and experience and realized that I was drugged. Because I didn’t even consider that as an option, nobody tested for it. Whoever did it, got away.
That was a year ago to this day.
It triggered more anxiety, depersonalization, dissociation, and paranoia than I had ever experienced before. Having the world shut down with a pandemic a few days after certainly didn’t help, either.
But it gave me time to heal. I spent what turned into six months with my family in my childhood home. I got the opportunity to rebuild my reality. It was the most difficult thing I had gone through, but worth every step of the way. Day by day, little by little, moment by moment, I chose to focus on being happy in the present. I had learned to make the most out of the unexpectedness of life and just go with the flow.
I recognized many problems that I had previously avoided noticing. I had to figure out what was real from the ground up. But I also got to choose what is real to me. I learned more about myself and the universe during that time than I ever had. I felt true happiness, support, and love beyond the wonderful normal amounts I usually had.
It was a difficult journey, but a great one. I write this today to say that within these past couple of weeks, I had another life-changing moment, but this time, for the better. This time, I am living my dream life, and the growth was so needed to get to this point.
My takeaways for you are these:
- Anything can change at any time, for the better or for the worse.
- Be aware and open to balancing the good and bad. If I had known about these symptoms and more situations where others were drugged, maybe I could have handled the situation even better than I had.
- Healing takes time. Take the process moment by moment and focus on the positives as much as possible. It’s ok to not be ok sometimes. You know what is best for you.
- Choose happiness, love, and light, always!
May you be healthy, happy, and following your dreams as they come true.
Best Wishes,
Sarah
